Chapter 4

Hobo

Nose inhale stench
Eyes water and chum peaks
PATCO at its best

___________________________________


Don't Be

Don't be that guy
who gives me a high-five
who dances to "Jump Around" with a Coors Light
who wears boat shoes but has never been on a boat

Don't be that girl
who thinks that shirt still fits
who brags about screwing the bass player from Jimmy Eats World
who puts Beanie Babies in her Ford Focus

Don't be that crack whore
who shoots up during Christmas dinner
who sells his last hit to an 8-year old
who steals his mother's VCR instead of the DVD player

___________________________________


My Sunshine (Haiku)

the bright warm sun shines
on you and me and our love
giving us cancer

___________________________________


Why I Hate Karaoke Night At The Pub (Haiku)

karaoke girl
take me from your drunky town
in the key of tone deaf

Chapter 3

Filling up

On a beautiful summer day, the windows rolled down
and a cool lake breeze caresses my face
I roll into the station and pump my regular gas
I remember a time when I felt the exact same.

It was in prison and I dropped the soap.

___________________________________


Battle On Reproductive Hill

Into the night on day 28
the war raged on
ovary on fallopian tube
uterus on cervix
the throes of battle
creating a flowing river of pain
of irrational sobbing
of door slamming
of curling in the fetal position around a heating pad trying not to puke

But Alas! And Hark!
On the horizon,
the beacon of hope
the bottle of relief
acetaminophen has arrived
on dri-weave wings
to bring peace
to the distended field

___________________________________


The Devil Wears a Hairnet

Sitting in the shade
Of the nation’s pastime
The summer sun was warm
But I didn’t mind.

I started to get hungry
So I got out of my seat
It was time for a hot dog
12 inches of salty meat!

At last I got to the front
Of the never ending line
The pissy cashier took my order
And said “that will be 21.99”

I said “What the crap?
“The tickets already put me in the hole
How do you expect me to pay for this?”
She said “The Mariners will take your cash, check or your SOUL!!!”

I told them to throw in some fries
And they got a deal
Little do they know, the Phillies got my spirit 3 years ago
For a fried chicken meal.